


Five Times Varric Said 'I Love You' (And Meant It) & One Time He Was Loved

by vehlr



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: F/M, Past Relationship(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-15
Updated: 2016-05-15
Packaged: 2018-06-08 13:35:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,676
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6857155
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vehlr/pseuds/vehlr
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Inquisitor finds him in tears, and before he can explain why, she has ushered him back to his quarters with a tight embrace and a promise for justice, leaving him stood in the doorway as she rushes off once more.</p>
<p>He swallows, rubbing his face. Shit.</p>
<p>Cassandra loves him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Five Times Varric Said 'I Love You' (And Meant It) & One Time He Was Loved

**1: mother**

She is sick, he reminds himself. She cannot really be held responsible.

“Where’s your father?”

“He’s dead, Ma.”

“I remember now.”

“Would you like to hear a little more of the story today?”

“Fetch me a drink, Varric. A real drink.”

“Ma, the doctor said -”

“I am your _mother_. Do as I say.”

He hesitates, because the doctor _said_ \- but that tone still sends the fear of the Maker through him.

“I love you, Ma.”

She hums noncommittally. “Fetch me a drink. Then you can read to me,” she says. It is the kindest request in months, and Varric cannot help but obey.

*

**2: bianca**

She is clever, he reminds himself. He should not have expected more.

His mother has been in the ground two months, and Varric is ready to leave everything behind and start over. His books are forgotten, his manuscripts given to the fire, and now all he needs is the woman.

“Did anyone see you?” she asks as he slips into the room at the Blooming Rose.

“They never do,” he replies, grinning as she pours him a drink. “You got everything ready?”

“Almost. I have to show my face tonight at a dinner, but first thing tomorrow I’ll see you at the Chantry.”

“Six o’clock, before the first prayers, right?”

“Right.” She offers him the glass, her own clinking softly against it. “This time tomorrow, we’ll be halfway to Nevarra.”

“I love you.”

“Right back atcha,” she grins, pulling him into a quick kiss - a kiss that turns into a giddy smile and his chest swelling with joy. He wonders, briefly, how he is going to manage to get through tomorrow without making an utter fool of himself in front of her.

*

**3: hawke**

She is tired, he reminds himself. She shoulders too much already.

“I love you, Hawke.”

She smiles up at him. “You’re just saying that so I’ll agree to be in your book.”

He laughs. “Maybe a little.” His hands rest on her shoulders, fingers pressing into the muscles with care. “Still true.”

She makes a soft noise, eyes closing. “You’re good to me,” she murmurs.

“Someone has to be.”

Her hand reaches up, resting lightly on his knuckles for a long moment. “Thank you,” she manages, and he feels something in his chest tighten. She could never say any more, but… it was enough.

He squeezes gently. “Anytime.”

*

**4: bartrand**

He is gone, he reminds himself. He should not even care.

Varric does not visit as often as he should, he knows this much. But what is left to say? Bartrand lost everything to the red lyrium. He stares out the window, and Varric takes a deep breath, resting a hand on his shoulder.

“I love you, you fucking asshole.”

Bartrand does not respond.

“Just… just tell me you didn’t do it for greed. Tell me it was the red lyrium.”

The silence weighs on them, and the bed shifts as Varric stands.

“I’ll be back next month.”

Bartrand does not know he is lying. Bartrand does not know he is there.

* **  
**

**5: inquisitor**

She is a miracle, he reminds himself. She carries the weight of the world.

“I love you.”

The Inquisitor blinks, and then laughs. “Is this how you buttered up Hawke? I won’t fall for that trick, Varric. No book about me!”

Varric rolls his eyes. “No, I just -”

A hand claps on his shoulder. “I know. The whole miracle thing, right? Everyone’s suddenly bursting to tell me their feelings. And I appreciate it, I really do.”

He smiles. “But?”

“But… I just want things to be normal again, you know? I’m not… I’m not this great powerful Herald, not really. I’m flesh and blood like everyone else.” Her shoulders sag, and he sees something of the Champion in her. It hurts.

He strokes his chin. “Hm. Well, how about you lose your money like everyone else, over a game of cards?”

* * *

**1: cassandra**

She is honest, he reminds himself. He should not have been surprised.

“Good morning, Seeker.”

She approaches his table in the Great Hall with a wide smile. “Good morning, Varric. Busy already, I see.”

“Time waits for no dwarf.”

She laughs, a soft noise that only fades away when she presses her lips to his cheek. “Very well, I shall leave you to your work in peace.”

“Not sure if I should thank you for that or not,” he grumbles.

“You will thank me when you are free to enjoy your evening in peace.” She kisses his cheek one last time, and murmurs softly. “I love you.”

Varric’s heart stops.

She straightens, one hand on his shoulder. “Good luck. See you later, perhaps.” And with a flash of her smile she is gone, striding out into the world, completely oblivious to the state he is in.

*

The Inquisitor finds him in tears, and before he can explain why, she has ushered him back to his quarters with a tight embrace and a promise for justice, leaving him stood in the doorway as she rushes off once more.

He swallows, rubbing his face. Shit.

Cassandra loves him.

It was a strange thought to have, in truth - he might have assumed it, after a year or two, but it had barely been a season. And though he knew he loved her, he did not expect that to be reciprocated any time soon, never mind out loud.

She _had_ said it out loud, after all.

Something in his chest flares with joy, and he rubs at the fresh tears with vague annoyance.

_Knock knock._

He turns as the door opens -

“Seeker?”

She crosses the room to him, gloves cold as she cups his face. “Are you alright? The Inquisitor came and - and _shouted_ at me. I have never _seen_ so much worry in her -”

He smiles, nodding. “I’m fine, she just… misunderstood the situation. Sorry she dragged you into this.”

“What happened?”

He winces slightly. “Ah… _you_ did.”

She pales. “What did I _do?_ Varric, I never meant to -”

“No,” he laughs, “no, don’t - look, just… come and sit with me?” He leads her to the bed, pulling her gloves off carefully. “It’s not a bad thing, not at all. It was just… a big thing. A _huge_ thing.”

She puts the gloves aside. “Because of what I said - before I left you? When I kissed you?”

“Yeah.” He smiles. “Big thing for me. I, ah… I don’t remember ever being told that before by anyone, and you just sort of… said it.”

She frowns. “You must have. You have family -”

“Not the best example, as well you know.”

“- and friends -”

“Who I’m sure do love me, but we’re not exactly… open, with that sort of thing.”

“- not even -”

“Not even Bianca.” He swallows. “Just… you, Seeker.”

She stills, before taking his hand. “I… I did not want to make a big fuss over it,” she says quietly. “I woke up this morning, and I knew it, in my heart. I knew that I have felt it for some time, but today was the day I was sure. And I wanted you to know. It is my truth, and I would have you know that much.”

“I’m not - I’m not upset. I’m really not. It was just a shock, you know? To hear those words -”

“I love you.”

He freezes, and she pulls him into her embrace carefully.

“I will not risk you ever forgetting, not even for a second,” she murmurs.

He buries his face against her neck, feeling the tears come. “Cassandra -”

“I love you,” she whispers. “Varric, I love you.”

His fingers tighten around her gambeson, a soft noise escaping his throat.

Her arms wrap around him, holding him tightly. “I will tell you, every second of every day that I draw breath, for you deserve nothing less.”

“Don’t,” he says, muffled against her collarbone, “or I’ll be wrecked like this all the time.”

She laughs. “You are in my arms, my love. I fail to - _oh_ ,” she sighs, laughing again as he whines at the endearment. “You are precious. My love, at least promise me you are crying out of happiness?”

He nods, snuffles of laughter as he tries to bring himself under control.

“Good. At least when I have to report back to the Inquisitor that you died due to dehydration after crying, that it was at least happy tears that killed you.”

He laughs at that, enough to pull himself from her embrace and scrub his face with a groan. “I hate you,” he says, smiling up at her. “I never cry.”

“I cannot comprehend such a world where you do not know how beloved you are.”

“I _do_. Sort of. Like I said, I know my friends love me, but that’s different. It’s one thing to be loved, but… to _hear_ it, from _you?_ To know that you love me is… it’s everything.”

She kisses his forehead sweetly. “Then I will tell you every day,” she promises.

He believes her.

“Seeing as we’re here, there’s something you should know.”

She smiles gently. “What?”

“I love you, Cassandra.”

Her eyes widen, her lips parting soundlessly. “I - no, I -”

“See, I _was_ waiting to make a big fuss over it. I had it all planned out. Flowers, candles, maybe a nice meal in Val Royeaux… but I can’t think of anything more romantic than telling the woman I love how I feel after I’ve just spent a solid ten minutes crying on her.”

She pulls him into a kiss, soft and gentle, but he cannot help the smile as her tears fall against his cheeks.

“Your turn to dehydrate,” he teases, and she shoves him, laughing as she wipes her eyes.

“Shut up. Maker, you have _ruined_ me for anyone else.”

“Good. I love you, I’m not about to let you go.”

She smiles, letting him pull her down into the crook of his body as they lie on the bed. “And I love you,” she murmurs, fingers finding his as she squeezes his hand. “Always.”

**Author's Note:**

> I have such conflicting emotions about Varric's relationships with all of these people, and this is just a fraction of those thoughts brought together for this specific purpose - in truth, I think Varric was told by Bianca, and probably Hawke (depending on your Hawke) and his mother (before things got really bad) but let's not dwell on that right now.


End file.
